Spicy Vodka Creamer, Coffee for ‘Straights’ and

This is not a joke. There was a European KitKat heist.

The worst thing that could happen in the lead-up to April Fools’ Day was the theft of 12 tons of KitKat bars.

Food and beverage companies just couldn’t resist, offering condolences for the KitKats while simultaneously announcing the “totally unrelated” news of new KitKat-related products. Oh, you devils, you.

As is tradition around here, we’ve rounded up the freshest coffee jokes of the season, comprising impressive videos from indie purveyors, polished pranks from corporate behemoths and the usual parade of disgusting drink ideas.

We do feel compelled, yet again, to ask brands to stop announcing their April Fools jokes as jokes. Brand anxiety is a total buzz kill!

One New Zealand roaster who shall not be named even issued a separate follow-up post apologizing for jokingly launching a skincare line. This we cannot abide.

(Note: Most of the following links will open in Instagram.)

The Espresso Dillight. Temple Coffee image used with permission.

Temple Coffee Espresso Dillight

April 1 brings out a lot of pickle-forward beverage content, and 2026 was no exception. Sacramento, California-based Temple Coffee joined the movement this year with the launch of their Espresso Dillight.

Tangy, bubbly pickle-infused soda combined with a shot of our signature Dharma espresso topped with dill and pickle spear.

Califia Farms Spicy Vodka Almond Creamer

Califia Farms teamed up with another food brand Carbone to launch Spicy Vodka Almond Creamer, including an Italian gesture emoji.

Made with pantry-friendly ingredients like 100% Imported Italian Tomatoes, Calabrian chili, a splash of vodka, and creamy almond milk, our new Spicy Vodka Almond Creamer has just enough heat to wake up your morning espresso… or your pasta night

Olympia Water

Washington state’s Olympia Coffee announced their rebranding focusing 100% on water sourcing. It’s not an outrageous concept, given that coffee is made of something like 98% water, and Olympia ran with it.

Every enhancement is thoughtfully sourced and added with intention. We recommend starting with still before exploring your mineral journey.

We Are Here Goes Straight

UK roaster We Are Here Coffee finally stood up for all the “straights” who have “had enough of our lefty liberal, wokey kokey nonsense” with the launch of The Straight One.

Introducing THE STRAIGHT ONE, raising important funds for the folks who need it the most, investment bankers. Let them play with the donated money, it’s their job and they know what’s best for us all.

The Straight One by We Are Here. Image used with permission.

Peace Premium

Minneapolis-based Peace Coffee continued its streak of detailed April foolery with a bit of topical humor, launching “Peace Premium” automotive fuel.

It started with a simple question: if Peace Coffee powers people every day, could it help power the vans too? And turns out… it worked.

Onyx Coffee Lab Antarctica

Arkansas-based roaster Onyx Coffee Lab goes hard with everything it does, and April Fools is no exception. This year, the company introduced Onyx Coffee Lab Antarctica, and we’re only about 70% sure it’s a joke.

It will remain true to our commitment to craft, hospitality, and attention to detail. Just with a slightly colder climate.

Kaffelogic’s Cold Roast

New Zealand home-roaster brand Kaffelogic is capitalizing on the “cold everything” trend with its new Cold Roast system.

Inspired by the cold brew revolution, our new Cold Roast™ profile uses precision airflow technology to gently circulate your beans at ambient temperature.

Deeper Roots Teeth Whitening Strips. Image used with permission.

Deeper Roots Teeth Whitening Strips

Cincinnati-based roaster Deeper Roots Coffee gave new meaning to its own name with DRC Teeth Whitening Strips, offering the following fine print:

byusingthisproductyouagreethatDRCisnotresponsibleforanyinjuries,damages,orsuddenlossofteeth.

Aillio’s Bullet R2D2 and Tough Guy

Gadget worship and fandom cosplay play well together with roaster-maker Aillio’s launch of the Bullet R2D2 through Aillio Latin America. The main Aillio account also rolled out the “Bullet Tough-Guy.”

We took our meanest-looking coffee roaster, slapped a custom black leather jacket on it, and gave it the kind of attitude that makes your beans nervous.

Dalla Corte Mini Mina

Italian espresso machine manufacturer Dalla Corte announced the Mini Mina, a small joke:

Portable extraction. Infinite consistency. No counter space required.

Perc Tag Team Co-Ferments

Savannah, Georgia’s Perc Coffee leaned into the co-fermentation trend with what would be an aggressively unpleasant expression: BBQ + Sour Cream & Onion.

This dynamic duo starts as perfectly ripe cherries, split into two batches: one fermented anaerobically in tanks with a tangy, vinegar-based BBQ sauce, the other with the salty, crumbly magic from the bottom of a potato chip bag. After fermentation, both are depulped and carefully dried down to a 10% moisture content.⁠

Fellow Espresso Series F1

Given the way most manufacturers talk about their espresso machines, the crossover into high-performance auto doesn’t feel particularly jarring.

Featuring a precision-engineered chassis, exhaust-integrated steam wand, and aerodynamic portafilter front wing. Designed to deliver café-quality espresso at race pace.

If your coffee isn’t moving at 330 km/h, what are we even doing?

Tinker Coffee Coldest Brew

Why have cold brew when you could have the coldest brew? Indianapolis-based Tinker Coffee added the low-calorie drink to its menu.

It’s ice cold. It’s low-cal. And that bold, rich coffee flavor? That’s coming from one perfect bean, sitting right on top where it belongs.

Kahwa Serves the Fully Loaded Breakfast Latte

With butter, collagen, protein powder, adaptogens and mushroom extract already filling America’s cups, why not add some bacon and eggs. Florida-based roaster Kahwa Coffee did just that with the launch of their Fully Loaded Breakfast Latte, served with “a butter drizzle + bacon fat mist.”

We’re talking:
maple brown sugar milk
slow-whisked egg yolk custard
bacon cold foam (yes… bacon)
sausage essence infusion
finished with a butter drizzle + bacon fat mist